Blogs from 2013
A plea, a pic, a wish, and a letter
First of all, if anyone who reads this can draw, pain, sculpt, or weld together something that could be contributed to the art contest, then I beseech you to enter it. I am really, really serious about this. Please, please submit. Even if you feel shy about sharing—remember that Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting during his lifetime, and that now he is considered by many as the most fabulous painter of all time. Even if you know you’re not Van Gogh . . . soon the Administrator will put up a link on this page to all the art that’s been submitted so far.
Second, here is a new Victor pic that you might not have seen. This is Chloe , Victor’s true love, on top of the bench, giving him a gentle pat on the head and saying “good boy.”
Third, I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July, whether you barbequed or swirled sparklers or simply watched a big fireworks display live or on TV. Fireworks are illegal where I live, which means that I only heard two or three go off every minute from dusk onwards. (Thank God there were no fires set, as the hills are crisp as tinder in almost every direction around me.)
Fourth, is the real point of this entry. The letter below was featured on the Internet and struck a real chord inside me, especially since it was (supposedly) written by a man. Few men could express what this guy does so clearly, although I wish he’d deleted the “Cutie-Pie” and the bit about the girl scrunching her nose up. We’re trying to move away from regarding women as children until they become “hags.” Anyway, here’s the letter that impressed me.
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was ‘How to keep him interested’.
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to ‘keep him interested’.
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul — in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego — that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
- I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table — as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
- I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me — as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
- I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet — as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
- I don’t care if he is strong — as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
- I couldn’t care less how he votes — as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
- I don’t care about the color of his skin — as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
- I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion — as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to ‘keep him interested’ is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,