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2011-2012 and Friendship

on 10 January 2012. Posted in 2012

Today marks the five-year anniversary of my mother’s death, and it is, as it should be, a sad day for me. But also it is at the beginning of a new year, which I take as time to look back at the previous twelve months and meditate on them. The last year has been a very good one. I have had the amazing fortune to get a sympathetic, brilliant, dynamic agent, and I’m everlastingly grateful for his insights, his tenacity, and his gentle sense of humor. I’ve made progress on my manuscripts. STRANGE FATE is coming right along, and I have completely renovated the premises for ETERNITY and BRIONWY’S LULLABY.   And, perhaps best of all, I have made a new friend: one of those that you can tell will be friends for life. Who will be with you during the sad times (like now) and also during the times of triumph. Normally, this wouldn’t be anyone’s business but that of myself and my new soul-sister’s, or brother’s, but I’ve heard that there are some people who have nothing better than to try to disparage Christina’s character or to disparage mine rather than accept it. I’m afraid that anyone who has nothing better in their own lives to do than nitpick over others is a pitiful case indeed and unlikely to be swayed by the opinions of great thinkers, but I will mention that Plautus felt that “Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.” Of course there are also many quotes disparaging friendship itself; but these I will fend off with all my life’s force. I am a militant optimist. I choose to be one. I only wish I could be better and better friends with every single one of the people I meet: not just the people I meet through my website. But I will admit that the site gives me a head start because so many of the people who email me or are on the Forum are open, genuine, and willing to trust others. In any case, arguing over who is friends with whom is so childish that I find it hard to give any more time to—it reminds me too much of being in preschool. (As a matter of fact I can’t even think of a time in preschool when I did it or heard it done.) My real message is that thinking over the last year I can think of many more good times than bad times in 2011 and I have hopes that 2012 will be better than ever—for everyone.

Comments   

 
Jennifer Martin
0 # 2012Jennifer Martin 2012-01-11 09:35
It's always hard losing a loved one. I've lost too many these past two years. I find remembering all the good things they did and the times we shared helps. I also try to do something in their memory, like donating to a charity they were fond of. How ever you do it, I hope you find some peace.

As for what ever anyone else has to say, a good friend of mine repeatedly tells me
"It's mind over matter. If you don't mind, then it doesn't matter."
Hope you day gets a light brighter.
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Nelly Jane
0 # 2012 and 2011Nelly Jane 2012-01-11 10:55
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's death. I'm thinking about you and will pray for you tonight.
But I am also glad that the last year has been a good one. I'm so lucky as well to have been able to speak to Christina over the forum, and think you are blessed to have such a lovely friend!
Good luck with whatever 2012 brings :-)
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Noelle
0 # 2012Noelle 2012-01-11 14:42
Hey Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. But I'm delighted to hear that you are staying possitive. Like my mam always says 'Stay possitive, believe you can do what ever you want and you will get there ;-) ' Here's to 2012. Hopeing it will bring more fun, laughter and friends than last year. And no matter how hard or difficult life may be, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to believe in it and you will get there!
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maryam abdulrehman
0 # amenmaryam abdulrehman 2012-01-11 16:13
May the memories keep you warm always and may your strength hold strong to your optomism, blessing for a new year filled with true friendships and may love,trust and respect conquer all,

happy new year
another self chosen militant optomist.
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Elizabeth13
+1 # Peace be with you...Elizabeth13 2012-01-11 19:12
This past June marked the 6th anniversary of my dad's death. And while there's the annual crying jag on Father's Day and the inevitable one day of crying at some point during the December holiday festivities, it's getting better. Peace is coming little by little. I hope you find some, as well.
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Lesley
+1 # RE: 2011-2012 and FriendshipLesley 2012-01-13 04:12
Your mom is never truly gone as long as you keep her memory alive. *hugs*

As for your friendship with Christina, forget about all those that say bad things, the friendship is yours, not theirs, and as long as the two of you are secure in that friendship, who cares what anyone else thinks :)

Here's to a wonderful New year!
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jeannette
0 # RE: 2011-2012 and Friendshipjeannette 2012-01-15 14:40
L. J smith you have all of us to help with this sad moment it does not go away when u lose a loved one but when you have support and loved ones helping you it may help u take the sad time a little easier
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Maja
0 # Hello L. J.Maja 2012-01-16 10:20
There is nothing worse than losing a loved one, but time heals. Its easier if you have the support of the ones that care about you. I really hope you do.
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Elizabeth Looby
0 # Thank YouElizabeth Looby 2012-01-16 18:46
Thank you so much for your wonderful sentiments. I am so sorry about your loss, even after many years I know it's still probably raw. I'm glad I read your post, it made my day!
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Jess Hawley
0 # RE: 2011-2012 and FriendshipJess Hawley 2012-01-18 11:56
Thank you, hope this year is a good year tooo.
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Katie
0 # 2012Katie 2012-01-19 18:10
I am very sorry for your loss and I hope that each day you are remembering the good times that you shared together. One day I hope you will have an easier time with the loss, but for now take one step at a time and just remember her. :)

Also, I'm glad that you found a truly good friend, they are hard to come by. Cherish the moments you guys have together for one day they will be but memories and those are the hardest things to keep.

I hope you have a terrific year!
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alexa
0 # RE: 2011-2012 and Friendshipalexa 2012-01-19 21:50
a good qoute that ive heard before from freinds and family when some one close to me passed away is "Life is eternal, love is immortal, and death is only a horizon and a horizon is nothing to save the limit of our sight," -Rossiter Worthington Raymond
even though there gone in body form, it does not mean there gone in our hearts, you probably know that, :)
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alexa
0 # RE: 2011-2012 and Friendshipalexa 2012-01-19 21:51
man, somedody already posted that qoute, well twice the more of amazingness and empthasis on the qoute i guess;) sorry if u thought i copied, i really didnt, i jut realized that other one was down there.
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Quinn
0 # RE: 2011-2012 and FriendshipQuinn 2012-01-19 22:13
True friendship is a very difficult thing to find. Friendships and relationships in general come in all forms, but to find someone who truly resonates with our soul is a very special thing. It isn't something that can, or ever should, be diminished by the small-mindednes s of others. And you're absolutely right that those who would criticize deserve our pity, as they have not yet reached the point in their lives where they are ready to accept themselves and others.

I am sorry to hear about your mother, but glad that you clearly had a very close and loving relationship with her. I hope the new year brings lots more love and friendship your way, and that special people continue to inspire you in every aspect of your journey.
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Yesu Prince
0 # Good LuckYesu Prince 2012-01-23 23:58
Am sorry for your loss. I appreciate the way u take things. 2012 sure is gonna be the best one as u wish it to be.
Good Luck.!
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Kandi Bauer
0 # Good Luck in 2012Kandi Bauer 2012-01-27 18:04
Lisa, I know what's like to lose some one that you love. Always Remember this They are still with us everyday looking over us and are in our hearts. Don't let anybody put you and your best friend down. And I hope 2012 will be a good year for you.
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Andriea
0 # 2012Andriea 2012-01-31 18:50
I am sorry to hear about your mother... it is so hard losing someone you are close to. I can't wait to see what this new year brings
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Morgan
0 # 2012Morgan 2012-02-15 18:50
I'm sorry about your mom, it is hard to lose a loved one. but i do hope that 2012 is a good year for you. :-)
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dove french
0 # hello! ^^ night worlddove french 2012-02-25 12:24
Hi, L.J Smith
I'm french girl and i'm thirteen.
I'm a real fan of you and I would like thanks you for your books : the night worl.
They are very nice good and more too ;) I readed at ALL and I would'nt you stop it, you must continue for written the stories are very amazing...
I wait the 9th and the 10th stories in French.
Perhaps can you tell me the date when they 'll come in French?
I wait your answer and thank you very much of all.
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ilyria
0 # RE: 2011-2012 and Friendshipilyria 2012-03-03 00:46
I am sure this will be a great year. good luck, hope you enjoy whatever 2012 brings everyone :)
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